Recently, I've been on this journey of rediscovering what love really is. To quote my favorite southerner, "I am not a smart (wo)man, but I know what love is."
The thing is, I don't think most of us really understand what love truly is. I believe that I am loved, and I believe that I love others, but I genuinely believe when compared to what love is supposed to be, we have no idea what we're doing.
Love isn't something you "fall" into or out of. Nothing burns me up faster than hearing someone say, "We just fell out of love" or "the heart wants what the heart wants." Neither of these declarations are true. . .at least they shouldn't be true for Christians. Love is deliberate. . .love doesn't happen accidentally. . .love doesn't simply come and go. The heart should be taken captive, and lead. . .we aren't supposed to be captivated by our hearts leadings. And yet I encounter people time and time again who are broken and shattered because they've been betrayed by someone they love, or worse yet, by their own heart. And time and again the story is the same, "But I love them!" Love. . .ultimately. . .is a choice.
Jesus defined this very deliberate choice when He was in the garden before His crucifixion. He asked the Father for another choice, but surrendered to God's will above all. In that, He made a choice to love an unlovable humanity; a humanity who did not deserve Him and who ultimately condemned Him to death. In His surrender to His Father, He chose to actively and deliberately love us. Can we say the same about our relationships? Do we love anyone enough that we would surrender our will to God's will? Even if it meant taking us far out of our comfort zone? In this great family of God, we are called to love others, to enter into covenant relationship with those with whom we have no biological connections. Is our love for them as strong as our love for ourselves and the things that are important to us?
Everyone brought up in the church knows about the Love verse. . .Corinthians 13:13. . .but do we know why the greatest of these three is love? Aside from the fact that love was defined as the highest describing authority of God, there are a variety of reasons why love is so important. We were commanded to love others. . .John 13:25, "Everyone will know by this that you are my disciples – if you have love for one another.” and John 15:12, "My commandment is this – to love one another just as I have loved you." How many of us can honestly say that we love others as He loved us? The argument ensues that there are those who are not deserving of our love, but Jesus addressed this in Luke chapter 6 by addressing how simple and easy it is for us to love those who love us, to lend to those from whom we can reasonably expect repayment. It's not a sacrifice to do something easy. Let me say that again; it's not a sacrifice to do something easy. The hard part comes when we realize that loving others as He loved us means we are to love the ones who don't seem to deserve it, who make it difficult, who do not love us in return. This is not a pearls and swine discussion as this isn't about teaching or salvation. Jesus never said for us to only those who are saved, or those who believe as we believe, but to love others as He loved us.
When the heart of a Christian finds itself captive and under the submission of Christ, it no longer wants what it wants, or loves without guidance. The captive heart learns to love what Jesus loves and how Jesus loves. As such, the responses change to more closely parallel the responses of Jesus. Our love is meant to be both a response to God from whom love derives, as well as the reflection of His love. Love is not blind, despite the commonly held belief. Love does indeed cover a multitude of sin. . .but it recognizes sin. Likewise, love recognizes good and evil. The love of God clings to those things which are good, and rejects that which is evil. It is not all accepting; rather it is scrutinizing and perceptive and discerning.
Love does not build up itself, rather it gives up the preservation of itself for the edification of others. John 13:34 says this, "I give you a new commandment – to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." Again, how often and how honestly do we love others in this manner? How often have you given up what you desired for your brother? Loving others means serving them instead of yourself. God's love within us is not only holy, but it is also righteous. This means that as Christians our love should be sacred and set apart from the love the world exhibits, and that we must understand that this love is to always be upright, justifiable, virtuous, and without guilt or sin. God calls for us to have holy love; a sacrificial love. And like God Himself, we are extolled to seek long term love, rather than short term. Long term love is enduring rather than emoting, it perseveres and challenges. Long term love is a form of love that requires the giver to take extreme risk and to practice surrendered discernment. It contributes to the building up and benefit of our brethren. This kind of love both responds to and reflects the love of God within us and toward us.
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