Odds are good that by now, you've all seen the sign my 12 year old was made to hold on the corner of Glenway and Ferguson yesterday. The camp appears to be split evenly down the middle as to whether or not this was an appropriate means of discipline. While I've enjoyed reading the comments, I feel it necessary to make a statement about just that; thank you all for your encouragement and support, and to those who think I'm a terrible mother, thank you for your honesty and willingness to take a stand for your convictions. The world needs more parents like ALL of us quite honestly. I meet entirely too many wishy washy parents who do not ever take a stand and don't have any convictions whatsoever.
But at the end of the day, what it comes down to is this - I neither desire nor require your approval. While I'm certainly not a perfect parent by any means, I am well equipped to the task at hand. I do not abuse my children, hit my children, lock them in closets or leave them in hot cars, I've never withheld food from them and my children are not obese either b/c I feed their emotions. My children are educated young people, who regularly test out at the top of their class. They are well liked by their friends, explore creative outlets like violin, art, and the craft of story writing. They are physically active and contribute to the community by feeding the homeless during the winter. They regularly participate in activities at our house of worship. They also have a schedule for each day that they must follow, beginning with getting themselves out of bed at a set time. There is a scheduled reading time, music practice time; they must do chores that are listed and distributed on a rotating basis. If chores are done incorrectly, they get done again, and said child looses a privilege. There are rules for our home as well - among are no hitting, no screaming, no lying, be respectful to mom and dad as well as one another, and so forth. My husband is a Marine. If you don't know what that means, you can't possibly understand our method. I'm a former Sergeant. Both of us are Christ followers, and are striving to raise our children with Christian principles. We don't allow our children to "follow an alternate path" to enlightenment. When they're adults, they can make that choice for themselves. For now, that decision is ours to make and bear responsibility for.
To that end, I'd like to make a couple other comments, since my faith and Christianity were brought into question in another blog.
For those of you who believe that Jesus was this gentle pacifist, you need to actually read the book again. Jesus was such a threat to the way of life that the political leaders had Him murdered. They set Him up, and they slaughtered Him for standing the TRUTH. Jesus was no pacifist. While He was all forgiving, He did correct people. . .frequently in front of large crowds. This is the same Man who chastised His own disciples, "What is your problem??? Don't you have any faith?" when they woke Him during a storm. He didn't hesitate to call the Pharisees a bunch of names either, or toss some tables in the temple. Jesus abhorred sin, people. He wasn't mealy mouthed about it at all. He hated sin. But He loved people, and so He taught them to not sin, He challenged them in their ways, and He loved them into salvation. The very plan of salvation itself means we own up to and take responsibility for our sin, admit we are unworthy on our own, and ask Jesus to make us worthy.
Likewise, when my daughter choose to repeatedly commit the same sin (and yes, it's sin) we had to do something. We'd exhibited grace to her time and again, we'd tried other methods, and finally the day came when she had to come face to face with her choices. She didn't like what that looked like, and the hope is that she was embarrassed enough that she won't soon make this poor choice again. But if she does, we'll be there to correct and steer her back to a place of challenge, where she will get to decide whether the humiliation of public shame outweighs her own selfish intent.
To address another comment made by this other mother, I was not proud of my daughter. I didn't offer any information to anyone with any sort of "pride." I was deeply ashamed of my child, because her poor choices reflect upon me, as a parent. Her inability to choose better than outright lying means that somewhere along the way I didn't train her properly. There was no pride in me at all as I also took a public stand with my child in her sin. But that's what parents do; we stand with our children. We're on their side. Even if they're wrong, we're on their side. I'm still on her side, and I'll still stand with her through all of her choices, good and bad. Because she's my daughter and I love her.
In the end, my stance is this; I did what was necessary and best for her. Period. None of us like seeing our children hurting. Getting shots sucks, but it's often a necessary pain. Discipline sucks sometimes, but it is a necessary pain for both child and parent. I won't apologize for my actions, but I invite any friends who actually know me to come to my door, have a cup of tea, and let's have a talk if you think I'm an abusive parent.
Otherwise - shut- your- hole. Pay attention to your own children and leave mine to me.
