15 days.
It's been 15 days since I left my home; my husband and children and headed to Goshen, IN for this thing called "revival." I had no idea driving here what would be asked of me, or how much I'd have to give up to fully pursue the heart of God. And I'm realizing it isn't just a fullness in the pursuit of God's heart. . .but it is an absolute EXCLUSIVITY in the pursuit of His heart. It isn't enough that I am fully pursuing His heart. . .I am being called to only pursue it. And my God, my Holy God. . .what a pursuit.
Our first day on the ground here, we went out with a team to pray for people in the community. I expected rejection. I expected polite, "no thanks." I expected a little Bible beating too. What we encountered instead, was a community that was hungry for Jesus, and a team that was gentle and loving and giving in their witnessing of Jesus Christ. It blew me away. I've been a Christian for 25 years and I've never seen anything like this. And then, we moved into the worship service that night, which was also unlike anything I'd ever experienced and I've been around a bit in the worship circles. I was in pure delight as I watched what God was doing in those early days.
Fourteen days later, I am weary. And that's a good thing. It means I've been busy. . .I've been working. . .I've been fighting. . .and I've been all about my Father's business. We've been out in the community; we've been on special assignments; we've been in businesses; we've been homes; we've been in church; we've been ministering to the broken hearted; we've been interceding; we've been studying; we've been worshiping. . .and worshiping. . .and worshiping. (And eating - we've been eating just fine)
Were I to die tonight, I could honestly say I would die empty. I am so full of God's presence, but I'm also so empty of myself. There's so little of who I was when I got here, that I'm not sure I really know who I am today. I am not the same as I was on February 3. And I'm ok with that. I want to die as empty as possible. . .b/c I want all of Christ that is poured into me to be poured out. I see human emptiness every.single.day we're here. It's in the young people who are dealing with depression, peer pressure, addiction, eating disorders, abuse, and so much more. It's in the people who are coming without their families b/c they're more hungry for God than they are for peace with their spouses. I see it in the Amish who are risking everything to be with us, to worship with surrender and abandon. I am in awe of their faith and the cost they are paying to choose to follow Christ in this way.
I've been talking to friends and fellow ministers around the country and even around the world. I so want to see the people who've been petitioning God for DECADES for revival to, "Come & see." I get it - we all have responsibilities. Whether it's your job, your family, or your church, there are a dozen good reasons to not lay aside everything and travel to Indiana. But is there ONE good reason to lay it all aside and come and see? If you're reading this, consider this an invitation; not unlike the one Jesus issued to Andrew. Come and see. Come and see what is happening in a region that was dry and starving for revival and how 7 days turned into 52.
Come and see. . .and then die empty.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Die. Empty.
What does that mean? What is dying empty all about? I first heard this phrase years ago from a worship leader I have the utmost respect for, and even then I didn't really understand it. In recent years however, I'm coming to more fully grasp the concept.
Dying empty is about giving out of your portion, not your abundance.
It's about sharing life with the people around you - not just the ones you like or who are like you.
It's about the dollar you put in the homeless mans cup - not because you think he'll actually use it to buy something to eat, but because you heard the Holy Spirit urge you to do it.
It's about the boy in your neighborhood who looks like one of the thugs who beat your son and forever changed his life - but you invite him in to dinner anyway because you know that the love you possess can change his life.
Dying empty has to do with that mission trip that keeps niggling at the back of your mind.
It's the extra room you keep ready for the person you DONT KNOW who needs a place to sleep.
It's standing up and opening your mouth and worshiping God even when you don't feel something stirring inside of you simply because obedience is better than sacrifice.
Recently, I discovered a group of people who celebrated a portion of donations that were given to a particular ministry. Likewise, I know a group of people whose donations were never noticed, even though by comparison, they gave considerably more. They are the quiet ones who live in the shadows, never drawing attention to their actions, and never expecting anything more from their giving except to die empty.
I want to live in that camp - the life where once I'm gone, people will never talk about the things I owned or the abundance in which I lived, but rather will say, "She gave because she wanted to die empty."
Dying empty is about giving out of your portion, not your abundance.
It's about sharing life with the people around you - not just the ones you like or who are like you.
It's about the dollar you put in the homeless mans cup - not because you think he'll actually use it to buy something to eat, but because you heard the Holy Spirit urge you to do it.
It's about the boy in your neighborhood who looks like one of the thugs who beat your son and forever changed his life - but you invite him in to dinner anyway because you know that the love you possess can change his life.
Dying empty has to do with that mission trip that keeps niggling at the back of your mind.
It's the extra room you keep ready for the person you DONT KNOW who needs a place to sleep.
It's standing up and opening your mouth and worshiping God even when you don't feel something stirring inside of you simply because obedience is better than sacrifice.
Recently, I discovered a group of people who celebrated a portion of donations that were given to a particular ministry. Likewise, I know a group of people whose donations were never noticed, even though by comparison, they gave considerably more. They are the quiet ones who live in the shadows, never drawing attention to their actions, and never expecting anything more from their giving except to die empty.
I want to live in that camp - the life where once I'm gone, people will never talk about the things I owned or the abundance in which I lived, but rather will say, "She gave because she wanted to die empty."
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