Finding my God Family was easier than finding Nemo

For years now, I've been searching for someone. Someone I'd read about, someone I was vaguely familiar with, and someone who had not yet "come into" their own. I knew what they looked like, what kind of work they were involved in, who they were married to, etc. But I didn't really know who they were. . .that someone was me.

As recently as a year ago, my life began to experience a progressive wrecking of all the things I thought I had figured out. I suppose God was in control of this - being that He's in control of everything.

What began as an adventure to "Encounter" God at our church has quickly transformed into something entirely different, but not altogether unlike what I imagine a God encounter would be. I snuck into the church - late - for the service, and slid into a pew in the back. I listened as a man discussed the things that held us in bondage, and pulled my feet beneath the pew I was sitting in as my toes began to be stepped on. I refused to move when God pulled on the strings of my heart - frightened into a frozen state and disobedient beyond belief.

Since that night, I've learned to move IN God. I've learned that when He comes close it isn't to step on me, but rather to hold me as He gently brings chastisment. I've learned that my obedience is far more valuable to Him than any sacrifice I might lay at His feet.

I've also learned that transparency isn't a trait to be feared, or to hide. There are these people in my life who have created a safe place where I have begun to live freely, where transparency is a currency traded between us for the most valuable gifts we can offer one another. I have learned that this isn't just their "ministry" but rather it encompasses the living out of their lives. I have seen this effect in their adult children - who have accepted our family and emeshed us into their lives. We've celebrated the addition of children, shared football games, and played "family" sports on Sunday afternoons. When we had trouble with one of our cars, one of their children freely gave out of the abundance of his own house. Our children have been welcomed openly, and interact freely with the grandchildren. Our lives are immeasurably blessed because we have seen the absolute evidence of "living your faith."

In recent months, I've learned that some of these people are now aware of some of my personal unique characteristics. Where I expected fear and shunning I've received instead acceptance and friendship. This. . .far more than anything else in my life. . .has restored my hope in human kind.

I am beginning to find that the harder I look for myself, the more elusive that person I'm looking for becomes. But when I stop working so hard, and allow myself to be "found" by others, who I'm finding is the person I'm sure I was created to be.