Sometime back, I answered a call on my life. It was a difficult choice, let me be the first to assure you. One that required many hours on my knees, face pressed to the carpet, and ultimately claimed more tears than I could count. The choice to be obedient in the face of adversity was one of the most difficult I've made in this life. And yet, somewhere in the middle of the frustration and the anger and the disappointment, I heard that still small voice yet again. I nearly responded with, "What do You want now?" but checked myself. (Quit grinning Don.) I mean, who takes on G-O-D? So, I sat and began to listen. Less talking, less analyzing, much more listening. And God began to speak to me. . .through the people who love me, through common strangers on the street, and through beautiful signs painted across the sky that we mere humans call a sunrise.
The calling this time wasn't about something He wanted me to do, but something He wanted from me. He was requiring that next step that Peter found himself unable to take standing upon the water that night. He wanted me to close my eyes, take a chance, and take a plunge. The calling was that instead of doing FOR Him, I would simply be WITH Him.
Do you know how hard it is to be alone with yourself in the presence of God? You notice every blemish, every spot, every wrinkle. Everything that doesn't quite fit well, or is the wrong color. Those things stand up and scream, "See!!! You aren't good enough to be here! You don't belong here! Run now before you're seen!!" Your realize that you are woefully ill prepared, and yes, un-presentable. You can't begin to measure up. . .ever. You have presumed yourself something you are not. A fool in the very presence of Royalty.
How could I possibly answer this call? Give me a task, something to build, something to write, something to DO. But don't ask me to just sit and be!! And yet, that is exactly what He wanted.
And so. . .I obeyed. I sat. I listened. I uncrossed my arms and let the spots and blemishes be seen. Every wrinkle, each torrid place and broken part of me He saw and He didn't look away. My spots and blemishes, the wrinkles and the brokenness. . .He loved them too.
I've learned something in this process about being called. God doesn't call perfect people. Ever. I see Him rising up a people who have experienced life, who have been hurt and broken, and even some who have done a little breaking of their own. He draws us to this place where we wonder whether we are still within His will, all the while He is demonstrating His grace that is capable of sustaining us, and in fact restoring our faith. Grace is found in the dirty places. . .all those ugly spots and the things we'd rather not have seen. That's where Grace is found. . .b/c it's only grace that makes those places worthy of a calling. It's only grace that makes the one who possesses such sin worthy of His calling. It's grace that covers it and grace that makes it part of the journey.
The calling comes when we least expect it and rarely comes when we're ready for it. It comes in the middle of what seems like the good life, and it comes in the middle of the night bringing sleeplessness and the inability to do anything except cry out to Him for explanation. It comes with a measure of grace however, and it's the grace that sustains us through the difficult part of the process. My grandfather told me once, "The will of God will never draw you where the Grace of God cannot keep you." Granddaddy was a smart man.
In the quiet, in this place
Where I hide from You
You find me
You meet me at the breaking
And You call my name
You call to me, You cry my name
And I hear Your voice
reaching through the pain, reaching through the dark, reaching through to me
Seeing what my eyes can't, hearing the words I can't say
You call me
Out of the dark and into the dawn
You've set me
And I am free - free from everything that ties me to this sin of mine
And you find me here. .. waiting to see what You see
Waiting to hear me sing Your song
And then You call my name
The calling this time wasn't about something He wanted me to do, but something He wanted from me. He was requiring that next step that Peter found himself unable to take standing upon the water that night. He wanted me to close my eyes, take a chance, and take a plunge. The calling was that instead of doing FOR Him, I would simply be WITH Him.
Do you know how hard it is to be alone with yourself in the presence of God? You notice every blemish, every spot, every wrinkle. Everything that doesn't quite fit well, or is the wrong color. Those things stand up and scream, "See!!! You aren't good enough to be here! You don't belong here! Run now before you're seen!!" Your realize that you are woefully ill prepared, and yes, un-presentable. You can't begin to measure up. . .ever. You have presumed yourself something you are not. A fool in the very presence of Royalty.
How could I possibly answer this call? Give me a task, something to build, something to write, something to DO. But don't ask me to just sit and be!! And yet, that is exactly what He wanted.
And so. . .I obeyed. I sat. I listened. I uncrossed my arms and let the spots and blemishes be seen. Every wrinkle, each torrid place and broken part of me He saw and He didn't look away. My spots and blemishes, the wrinkles and the brokenness. . .He loved them too.
I've learned something in this process about being called. God doesn't call perfect people. Ever. I see Him rising up a people who have experienced life, who have been hurt and broken, and even some who have done a little breaking of their own. He draws us to this place where we wonder whether we are still within His will, all the while He is demonstrating His grace that is capable of sustaining us, and in fact restoring our faith. Grace is found in the dirty places. . .all those ugly spots and the things we'd rather not have seen. That's where Grace is found. . .b/c it's only grace that makes those places worthy of a calling. It's only grace that makes the one who possesses such sin worthy of His calling. It's grace that covers it and grace that makes it part of the journey.
The calling comes when we least expect it and rarely comes when we're ready for it. It comes in the middle of what seems like the good life, and it comes in the middle of the night bringing sleeplessness and the inability to do anything except cry out to Him for explanation. It comes with a measure of grace however, and it's the grace that sustains us through the difficult part of the process. My grandfather told me once, "The will of God will never draw you where the Grace of God cannot keep you." Granddaddy was a smart man.
In the quiet, in this place
Where I hide from You
You find me
You meet me at the breaking
And You call my name
You call to me, You cry my name
And I hear Your voice
reaching through the pain, reaching through the dark, reaching through to me
Seeing what my eyes can't, hearing the words I can't say
You call me
Out of the dark and into the dawn
You've set me
And I am free - free from everything that ties me to this sin of mine
And you find me here. .. waiting to see what You see
Waiting to hear me sing Your song
And then You call my name
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